Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
