just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
