We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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