she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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