I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
