His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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