Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
