I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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