i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
