please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
