I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
there is puke in my bra ... again
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
