bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
