i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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