dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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