is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
