On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
