He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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