Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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