Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize