we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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