you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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