in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
