why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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