i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
