My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Who died my cat blue again?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
