i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
