i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
