Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize