i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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