i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Two words: blizzard sex
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
