Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
