the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
