That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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