Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
