Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
