Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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