im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
