my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
