I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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