I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize