It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
