Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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