I need to stop coming to work sober
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
