also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
