i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
