He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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