you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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