Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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