"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
