I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
