Girls should come with a carfax report
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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