**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are