So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary