we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.