Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom