people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice