508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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