you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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