a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
