who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
