I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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