If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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