theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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